"I’ll be what you want me to be"

The week started off with a bang in Sevilla for Zone Conference! We visited the Plaza de España, which is where some scenes of Star Wars were filmed. In the conference we talked about a lot, including adoration in our prayers and being one with our companions, but what stood out to me was the portion where missionaries going home share their final testimonies. One missionary in particular, Elder Pavon, shared the importance of his mission on his life and how deeply the gospel had changed him and his family. I was touched by his message but, to a greater degree, by his maturity, dignity, and confidence. Perhaps that was his testimony more than the words. Before I left on the mission a few of my peers mentioned how missionaries come back different. While they were likely  referring to returned missionary's quirks rather than their positive traits, I hope to not only learn and grow here, but to become someone different. More on that at the end. 

A bit of a slower week with lots of lessons falling through, but the lessons we did have were awesome. This Friday we had an activity where we painted Books of Mormon. Turns out it is really hard to paint haha, so don't judge from what resulted after 2 hours of effort. No one from the ward actually came, but we had two friends (Georgina and Yosmel) there, which was super awesome. Saturday we had a lesson with a friend we met on the street from Paraguay. He is super awesome and has already met with missionaries before. He has only been here a week and is looking for friends and a family. Gustavo, do we have something for you! That night we also taught our friend Erick the Plan of Salvacion. With everything we shared, he would think, ask a few questions, and nod his head in agreement. When truly understood, this information changes the way we see ourselves, others, our life here, and everything else. Too bad we dont truly understand it. May that forever be our goal.

This weekend we had General Conference! We watched some in the chapel alone (no show), some with members in Spanish, and some on our phones in the Piso. The time zones are such that conference goes all the way until 12:00 a.m., so we got to stay up for that. Lots of powerful talks; let me know which ones you liked. Apart from the prophetic exhortation to go camping more, what stuck out to me was the talk by Elder Eyring about being proved through life's trials. He said:

The Lord proves us ... to strengthen us. That proving does not come in moments of ease or comfort. It comes in moments when we feel stretched beyond what we thought we could bear. The Lord teaches that we are to continue to grow and never tire in our efforts, that we never give up, that we keep trying.

How beautiful that in those moments most difficult, we have greater access to His enabling power through the Atonement. That does not remove our trials, but offers us hope and love as we continue our journey. During conference the song "I'll go where you want me to go" was sung. While typically sung for those full time missionaries literally going somewhere else, I was struck by the second verse which may have a more broad application. I think it's a cop out to say, welp I just go work or school or whatever dull routine you attend to in your life, so I am cannot be a tool in the Lord's hands. While it may not be on a mountain, plain, or sea, God needs us to not only act how He would have us act, but to become who He would have us become. I hope this week you seek to speak kindly, to love quietly, to trust confidently, that you can have an impact, however unseen, on that small orbit of people you call your family, friends, and peers. There is no one else situated so precisely to bless them as you are. With time, by seeking to do His will, we will become someone different. Someone more like He would has us to be.

Perhaps today there are loving words 

Which Jesus would have me speak; 

There may be now in the paths of sin 

Some wand’rer whom I should seek. 

O Savior, if thou wilt be my guide,

Tho dark and rugged the way,

My voice shall echo the message sweet:

I'll say what you want me to say

So trusting my all to thy tender care, 

And knowing thou lovest me, 

I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere: 

I’ll be what you want me to be.

Elder Dougall